The older I get, the more I realize I can’t do everything myself.
And honestly? That realization is both uncomfortable and freeing.
As an only child, I learned early on to rely on myself.
If I needed or wanted something done, I usually had to do it. The few times I did ask my dears, nears, and/or queers, I was left regretting it. So I stopped asking. And did my best to handle everything possible on my own. It became second nature.
With fewer dependencies and moving parts, I experienced less disappointment and less stress. I did it myself, to the best of my abilities, and moved on.
But that DIY mindset only took me so far.
It’s efficient in theory but exhausting in practice.
The truth is, there’s a lot I don’t know how to do. And even more that I don’t like doing. Recently, I’ve realized what I once considered a “strength” has become a liability. The cost isn’t just physical exhaustion—it’s emotional burnout. Carrying everything alone, even the little things, eventually takes its toll.
What’s ironic is that I have trusted people in my life who want to help. Chosen family and friends who have noticed me drowning in errands, in overwhelm, in silence, and have said, “Please let me help.” But instead of saying yes, I smile and say, “I’ve got it.” Because...habits.
I don’t like asking for help. Not because I think I’m above it, but because it doesn’t come naturally to me. Somewhere along the way, I internalized the idea that needing help meant being a burden. Or being needy. And that kind of vulnerability was risky.
I was raised to believe that relying too much on others could backfire, often leading to transactional relationships where support comes with strings attached.
But what I’m learning—slowly, reluctantly, beautifully—is that true friendship doesn’t keep score. Real friends show up not because they expect repayment, but because they want to. They want to be part of my process and progress. Because they care about me and my life.
And I’m finally—slowly and surely—starting to let them.
Not always. Not perfectly. But enough to notice the shift. Enough to realize that being helped doesn’t diminish me—it deepens my connection with those who love me back. It creates space for reciprocity, for softness, for laughter in the middle of stress.
So this is me, unlearning decades of “I’ve got it.”
And starting to embrace the we in well-being.
Because that’s what friends are for.
Not just the birthday calls and brunch dates.
But the “I’ll bring the box if you pack it” days.
The “Sit down, I’ve got this” hours.
The “You don’t have to do it alone” minutes.
Personally, I think we’re better together...forever.
Keep calm and carry on!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. This post was inspired by two of my best friends, who recently reminded me—gently but firmly—to “let go and let God” a little more. I may not be religious in the traditional sense, but I do consider myself spiritual. So when a truth that resonates keeps popping up, I’ve learned to listen…and go with the flow.
ICYMI = IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
MONDAY = The Upsides Of Downsizing
TUESDAY = Livin' + Lovin' = Groovin' + Movin'
WEDNESDAY = A New Desk For My New Digs
THURSDAY = Some Assembly Required
FRIDAY = New Digs + New Routines
SATURDAY = One Day At A Time
25% OFF SUBSCRIPTIONS THRU 07-23-25
COLLIDE PRESS is a reader-supported publication.
Please consider becoming a paid subscriber or patron.
Big thanks to all who’ve subscribed and/or supported!
FOR YOUR (SUBSTACK) CONSIDERATION
ON THIS DAY = JULY 20
BIRTHDAYS
1890 = Giorgio Morandi = Italian painter
1895 = László Moholy-Nagy = Hungarian painter, photographer, and sculptor
1933 = Buddy Knox = American singer-songwriter
1933 = Cormac McCarthy = American writer
1933 = Paul Fasana = American librarian and archivist 🌈
1938 = Diana Rigg = English actor
1938 = Natalie Wood = American actor
1939 = Judy Chicago = American artist
1941 = Kurt Raab = German actor, screenwriter, and production designer
1945 = Kim Carnes = American singer-songwriter
1946 = Randal Kleiser = American filmmaker 🌈
1947 = Carlos Santana = Mexican-American singer-songwriter
1950 = Roberta Achtenberg = American attorney and activist 🌈
1953 = Dave Evans = Welsh-Australian singer-songwriter
1963 = Frank Whaley = American actor, director, and screenwriter
1964 = Chris Cornell = American singer-songwriter
1966 = Stone Gossard = American singer-songwriter
1967 = Courtney Taylor-Taylor = American singer-songwriter and guitarist
1969 = Josh Holloway = American actor
1971 = Sandra Oh = Canadian actor
1972 = Rokas Žilinskas = Lithuanian journalist and politician 🌈
1973 = Omar Epps = American actor
1975 = Judy Greer = American actor and producer
1980 = Gisele Bündchen = Brazilian model, fashionista, and businesswoman
1988 = Julianne Hough = American singer-songwriter
EVENTS
1903 = The Ford Motor Company ships its first automobile.
1938 = The United States Department of Justice files suit in New York City against the motion picture industry charging violations of the Sherman Antitrust Act in regards to the studio system. The case would eventually result in a break-up of the industry in 1948.
1940 = Billboard publishes its first singles record chart, Chart Line. "I'll Never Smile Again" by Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra with Frank Sinatra and the Pied Pipers, is number 1.
1940 = California opens its first freeway, the Arroyo Seco Parkway.
1968 = The first International Special Olympics Summer Games are held at Soldier Field in Chicago, with about 1,000 athletes with intellectual disabilities.
1969 = Apollo 11's crew successfully makes the first human landing on the Moon in the Sea of Tranquility. Americans Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin become the first humans to walk on the Moon six and a half hours later.
1984 = Revenge of the Nerds is released in theaters.
1984 = The Neverending Story is released in theaters.
2005 = The Civil Marriage Act legalizes same-sex marriage in Canada.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
PORTRAIT + QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Even if what you're working on doesn't go anywhere, it will help you with the next thing you're doing. Make yourself available for something to happen. Give it a shot.”
Cormac McCarthy
Ivory Towers come in handy, just saying, Cheers DougT 🇫🇴🇬🇧
"No Man Is An Island", Dear Clint! (On "After Bathing At Baxters" by Jefferson Airplane, at the end of "A Small Package of Value Will Come to You, Shortly", someone yells out "No Man Is An Island" twice. Another member of the band replies with "He's a Peninsula", this is followed by a hearty har har laugh, and the next song begins.) See offers as a type of love and don't be afraid to ask. Jus' sayin'