First of all, I want to thank you and D'Angelo for his video. I have tried to deal with these issues in helping people. I don't think I can explain in a comment like this. I would find it difficult to explain in a long lecture, too.
I see who we are as a process, a changing one, not a static entity. You have been built by what happened to you and how you dealt with it (effectively or not). The "one day my prince will come", "one day I will be happy, successful.. whatever" expectation won't happen unless you change who you are. Some people can deal with the loss of who they are now and change - rather like a caterpillar, chrysalis into a butterfly. Most people can't or not completely.
What they are now has kept them alive, dealt with their wounds. It is valuable; they can't let themselves change. It would feel too wrong, too risky and essentially they wouldn't be who they are anymore. It is more a question of "I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses". Seeing yourself as a process in change might make you happier with the new "improved" version of you. BUT you might lose the things that you value - your art, your friends, the way that you see things and certainly the self that has helped you to survive so far.
Take your rests. You don't need to struggle or fight 24/7.
Thank you, Ray. So beautifully said/written. As always. Cheers!
P.S. I’m definitely a work-in-progress and figured out a few things over the weekend to help reduce my fight-or-flight responses. One of those things is to turn off notifications on all my apps (save phone and text). I love the online stuff, but find myself easily overwhelmed by it. So learning to moderate my exposure. Less quantity more quality is my goal.
In the UK, psychotherapists are required to a) have another psychotherapist with whom they discuss all of their clients/patients confidentialy and anonymously, and b) to be a client to a second psychotherpist, at least for intermittant sessions or periods of their own psychotherapy. The idea is that "every scalpel will get blunted and need to be sterilised and resharpened" Our own stuff can get in the way of effectively helping people and we need to deal with it.
It was pointed out to me that as a strongly introverted person seeing 6 to 8 patients each day was stressful for me, as a professional. I don't like social media and avoid them (including Substack, too) as much as I can. I identify with your.
Your comment reminds me of one of my favorite HBO shows: In Treatment. Curious if you’ve ever seen it. Seems a relatively realistic depiction of a therapist’s life…dramatized of course, but so wonderfully acted and written imo. Just Watch is a great resource for what’s available to stream, if you’re interested: https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/in-treatment
That doggone paper airplane stalls out a long time before we hope it will. I appreciate you a lot and many more than comment here do also, so take care of yourself!
Breathe. Hugs.
Thanks. D.C.! Crisis averted. On with the show… :-p
First of all, I want to thank you and D'Angelo for his video. I have tried to deal with these issues in helping people. I don't think I can explain in a comment like this. I would find it difficult to explain in a long lecture, too.
I see who we are as a process, a changing one, not a static entity. You have been built by what happened to you and how you dealt with it (effectively or not). The "one day my prince will come", "one day I will be happy, successful.. whatever" expectation won't happen unless you change who you are. Some people can deal with the loss of who they are now and change - rather like a caterpillar, chrysalis into a butterfly. Most people can't or not completely.
What they are now has kept them alive, dealt with their wounds. It is valuable; they can't let themselves change. It would feel too wrong, too risky and essentially they wouldn't be who they are anymore. It is more a question of "I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses". Seeing yourself as a process in change might make you happier with the new "improved" version of you. BUT you might lose the things that you value - your art, your friends, the way that you see things and certainly the self that has helped you to survive so far.
Take your rests. You don't need to struggle or fight 24/7.
Thank you, Ray. So beautifully said/written. As always. Cheers!
P.S. I’m definitely a work-in-progress and figured out a few things over the weekend to help reduce my fight-or-flight responses. One of those things is to turn off notifications on all my apps (save phone and text). I love the online stuff, but find myself easily overwhelmed by it. So learning to moderate my exposure. Less quantity more quality is my goal.
In the UK, psychotherapists are required to a) have another psychotherapist with whom they discuss all of their clients/patients confidentialy and anonymously, and b) to be a client to a second psychotherpist, at least for intermittant sessions or periods of their own psychotherapy. The idea is that "every scalpel will get blunted and need to be sterilised and resharpened" Our own stuff can get in the way of effectively helping people and we need to deal with it.
It was pointed out to me that as a strongly introverted person seeing 6 to 8 patients each day was stressful for me, as a professional. I don't like social media and avoid them (including Substack, too) as much as I can. I identify with your.
Your comment reminds me of one of my favorite HBO shows: In Treatment. Curious if you’ve ever seen it. Seems a relatively realistic depiction of a therapist’s life…dramatized of course, but so wonderfully acted and written imo. Just Watch is a great resource for what’s available to stream, if you’re interested: https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/in-treatment
Cheers, Ray!
That doggone paper airplane stalls out a long time before we hope it will. I appreciate you a lot and many more than comment here do also, so take care of yourself!
Thanks, Clarke! Appreciate you and your support. 🌈✌️
Sometimes you just need a day. ;) Thanks for all you do, Clint. 💜
Now who would've loved a roll in the hay with VAN WILLIAMS, he would have cleared any negative thoughts 😎 Cheers DougT 🇫🇴
Dunno if he would have permanently solved all my problems, but never know unless you try, right? :-)