“Clothes make the man,” the old saying goes.
If that’s true, then I’m unquestionably a t-shirt and shorts guy. Jeans if I’m working. A button-down if I absolutely have to look like a grown-up. Usually with some form of protest. That’s pretty much the full arc of my personal fashion journey.
So imagine my joy (aka dread) when I got invited to a wedding this weekend. A dear friend is marrying her high school sweetheart, nearly 30 years after they first dated. It’s the kind of full-circle love story that’s worth celebrating.
I love my friend, but I don’t love weddings. Truth be told, I’m okay with weddings in theory. Especially the food and after-party. But that part where I have to wear a suit? Yuck. For me, that’s where it all starts to unravel.
THE BIG + TALL OF IT ALL
As a big and tall guy—who, like many of us, got a bigger (though not taller) during the pandemic—clothes shopping has rarely been my favorite. But suit shopping? That’s an Olympic-level endurance test.
And finding a suit for this wedding has been a full-on saga.
THE GREAT SUIT DEBACLE OF 2025
Trying to go with the flow, I went to the same suit and tux shop the bride had chosen for the groom and his party. Not only was the store convenient, it almost seemed like a mom and pop shop…though it’s actually a giant chain.
Despite my reservations, I decided to go with a new black suit, something classic and versatile that could work for both the wedding and an upcoming cruise.
The sales associate was friendly and enthusiastic.
I thought, “Hey, maybe this won’t be so bad.”
Plot twist: The sales associate was actually an idiot and things got baaaaaad.
Turns out, the suit she sold me isn’t even available in my size. And won’t be for the foreseeable future. I only found this out because I showed up in person and asked, “Where the hell is my suit?”
Turns out, nowhere. Another sales associate handed me some ill-fitting garments, but the suit I spent an hour getting fit for last week doesn’t exist. Great. Fuck me.
CLINT’S INNER KAREN COMES OUT TO PLAY
With my time officially wasted and no suit in sight, my patience tapped out. I spotted the manager sneaking in through the back door (on her day off, no less) and flagged her down. Because her staff was clearly as useless as a button on a sock.
I don’t love pulling rank, but I was one misstep away from a full-blown meltdown.
Yes, finding a suit can reduce me to tears. And if I’m crying, chances are others will be too. I’d already lost my patience with undertrained employees who overpromise and underdeliver, so the manager was my last-ditch effort to get a suit and get the fuck out of there.
After more than an hour of back-and-forth, she finally—hopefully—found a solution. She comped me a rental suit and promised it would be ready for pickup today. But she’ll on vacation, so who the fuck knows what if anything I’ll find when I show up.
Fingers crossed, the suit will be there. If it’s not, I’ll probably scream at someone. And likely cry. This should not be so fucking difficult.
THE IRONIC TWIST
Why am I so emotional and frustrated? Because I know how a thing or two about dressing people the right way. In my twenties, I made my living as a costumer and wardrobe stylist. I always underpromised and overdelivered.
Maybe because I don’t fit in many clothes, I’ve always loved dressing other people, putting together looks that made them feel like the best version of themselves (or their characters). Playing with texture, fit, color, I have dressed hundreds of people over the years, helping them feel confident and seen.
But dressing myself? That’s a whole other can of worms.
It’s not that I don’t care about how I look. But when you’re built like a refrigerator, clothes don’t feel like they were made for you. Because, honestly, they weren’t.
The fashion industry hasn’t exactly rolled out the red carpet for us big and tall folks. Good thing I don’t worry about walking on red carpets. Anymore anyway.
For me, shopping has become less about style and self-expression and more about comfort and damage control.
WEDDINGS + WHAT REALLY MATTERS
Despite all this chaos and frustration, I still plan on attending my friend’s wedding Sunday. Because what matters is showing up and showing love.
I’ll be there, dressed and stressed in a free rented suit. I hope.
Maybe clothes do make the man. But I’d argue the real measure is how you feel in those clothes. Confidence. Comfort. Authenticity. That’s the real fit that matters.
And after the reception’s over? You better believe I’m back in my t-shirt and shorts.
Keep calm and dress on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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ON THIS DAY = OCTOBER 10
BIRTHDAYS
1813 = Giuseppe Verdi = Italian composer and philanthropist
1858 = Maurice Prendergast = American painter and academic
1859 = Ambrosia Tønnesen = Norwegian artist 🌈
1861 = Fridtjof Nansen = Norwegian explorer, scientist, and humanitarian
1889 = Han van Meegeren = Dutch painter and forger
1900 = Helen Hayes = American actor
1901 = Alberto Giacometti = Swiss sculptor and painter
1909 = Robert F. Boyle = American production designer and art director
1910 = Julius Shulman = American photographer and environmentalist
1917 = Thelonious Monk = American pianist and composer
1924 = Ed Wood = American actor and filmmaker
1930 = Harold Pinter = English writer, director, and Nobel Prize laureate
1933 = Jay Sebring = American hair stylist and businessman
1941 = Peter Coyote = American actor, director, and screenwriter
1946 = Ben Vereen = American actor, singer, and dancer
1950 = Nora Roberts = American author
1954 = David Lee Roth = American singer-songwriter
1954 = Martine Rothblatt = American lawyer, author, and entrepreneur 🌈
1954 = Wade MacLauchlan = Canadian politician 🌈
1958 = Tanya Tucker = American singer-songwriter
1959 = Bradley Whitford = American actor and producer
1959 = Julia Sweeney = American actor, comedian, and screenwriter
1960 = Paul Thiebaud = American art dealer
1961 = Crystal Waters = American singer-songwriter
1965 = Chris Penn = American actor
1967 = Gavin Newsom = American businessman and politician
1973 = Mario Lopez = American actor, tv personality, and producer
1982 = Dan Stevens = English actor
EVENTS
1964 = The Tokyo Summer Olympics opening ceremony is the first to be relayed live by satellites.
1980 = Private Benjamin is released in theaters.
1997 = Boogie Nights is released in theaters.
HOLIDAYS + OBSERVANCES
LGBTQ History Month (October 1-31) 🌈🧐📚
National Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15-October 15)
PORTRAIT + QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The past is what you remember, imagine you remember, convince yourself you remember, or pretend you remember.”
Harold Pinter
I feel you here. Retired this year, so I don't get out of my uns when I'm at home unless I get cold, only dress or dress up in jeans of some kind, polo shirts and my perennial fishing vest to contain all that stuff other people put in pants pockets, when I'm going out, which is (if I can manage it) only about once a week. My cockatiel doesn't care. At 6'2" and 275 lbs, not too many things fit comfortably. If it's a really fancy affair, the pants become khaki slacks of some sort. I haven't owned a suit in several decades.
I'm not a fan of weddings either - unless the couple is trying something really unique! I also don't like suits and haven't worn a tie in decades. Who ever said a tie makes the man?! They're hard to tie and easy to spill food on! Isn't it time to find a new approach to dressing up?!