Getting older has clarified things for me that I didn’t realize were blurry.
When I was younger, attention came easily and connection felt optional. As a gay man coming into adulthood, there was always somewhere to go, someone to meet, some version of belonging waiting just beyond the next introduction.
I didn’t think of it as connection then.
I thought of it as momentum.
Emphasis on the men.
Momentum felt like proof that I mattered.
But momentum isn’t the same thing as mattering.
I was reminded of that when I read a piece on NPR about Jennifer Breheny Wallace’s book Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. The book’s premise is simple: what we need most isn’t success or status, but the feeling that we matter to other people. And that they matter to us too.
The article made me think about how much of my younger life was built around being seen, not being known. I knew how to enter rooms and attract attention. But I didn’t yet understand the quieter value of staying. Or of letting people stay with me.
That’s changed as I’ve gotten older.
The most meaningful parts of my life now are pretty low-impact and low-key. A friend that checks in for no reason. A conversation that drifts into honesty. The nears, dears, and queers who have seen me through different seasons and stayed the course.
I’ve learned how fragile connection can be. People move. Lives change. Some relationships fade without explanation. It’s a reminder that connection doesn’t maintain itself. It requires intention. It requires showing up.
For years, I focused on building a career, producing work, moving forward. Those things still matter to me. But they don’t replace the feeling of being part of someone’s life, and allowing them to be part of mine.
Mattering lives in consistency. In reaching out. In being reachable. In caring. In sharing. In being present. In knowing that your presence makes a difference.
Living an interconnected life, I’ve learned, isn’t about knowing more people. It’s about valuing the ones who know you in a real and lasting way.
What matters most, I’ve realized, isn’t the accolades or milestones I once thought would define me. It’s the connections I’ve built along the way. The people who have shared pieces of their lives with me, and who I’ve shared pieces of my life with. They remind me that I was here. That I mattered. And that my life is richer. Not because of what I achieved, but because of the people I was lucky enough to know deeply.
Keep calm and connect on!
Clint 🌈✌️
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FROM THE ARCHIVES
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
02-23 = Carl Wittman (1943-1986) = American activist and writer 🌈
02-23 = George Frideric Handel (1685-1759) = German-British composer 🌈
02-23 = Niecy Nash (1970- ) = American actor 🌈
02-23 = Paul Morrissey (1938-2024) = American filmmaker 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“I like the idea of stepping back into another time period.”
Paul Morrissey
Clint the 3 archived NSFW were exceptional today especially the 2 with more nudity and flagpoles 😜 Cheers DougT
Clint, WORDS OF WISDOM ... but might I add that the people who come into and leave one's life over time also matter? Buddhism says "Nothing is permanent." So it is with family and friends, if only through joining you at one point of your life and with changes in need and ultimately in death, moving on. Fondly, Michael