While perusing the hookup apps and going on a few dates lately, I’ve noticed something surprising about who I find myself drawn to like a moth to a flame.
It’s not always the people with the best photos, the flashiest profiles, or the most carefully curated lives. What really pulls me in are the people who seem genuinely curious about the world and the humans moving through it.
The ones who ask questions and actually listen.
The ones who want to know more about others.
The ones who light up when someone reveals a little piece of themselves.
Meanwhile, the self-centered types leave my dick limp.
Yes, physical attraction matters. Of course it does. But after a few conversations, the biggest turn-on for me is not abs or jawlines or a carefully curated profile.
It’s curiosity.
Curiosity is sexy as fuck, y’all.
A lot of people spend enormous amounts of time trying to be interesting. They polish their stories. They highlight their accomplishments. They build highlight reels of cool things they have done or impressive places they have been.
Hell, most of us do it at least some of the time. I know I do.
But the truly magical and magnetic people don’t have to perform. They’re too busy paying attention to put on a show. They’re too busy listening, asking questions, and being curious about the person sitting across from them.
They follow threads. They remember details. They make you feel like the conversation is a shared space rather than a one-man show.
Something funny happens when someone treats me that way.
I naturally lean in. I open up. I share more. I start to care more too.
For me, that’s the “secret recipe” for making friends and influencing people. It is not about charm or manipulation or clever tricks. It is about genuine interest.
When people feel seen and heard, our social walls come down.
Think about the last time you walked away from a conversation thinking, “Wow, they were fascinating!” If you replay it in your head, you will probably notice something. They were not just talking about themselves. They were engaged, curious, and fully present.
They were interested. Which is exactly what made them interesting.
This realization has helped me recently on the dating front. When it becomes clear that someone is just waiting for their turn to talk, or redirecting every topic back to themselves, the whole thing fizzles out fast. My brain wanders. My attention drifts. And my attraction fades.
But when someone is genuinely curious about the world and the people in it, the whole dynamic changes. The conversation becomes playful. Ideas bounce around. Unexpected connections appear. Attraction is more than skin deep. For me at least.
So here is the simple rule I’m trying to follow these days:
If you want to be interesting, start by being interested.
Ask people about their weird hobbies. Their favorite books. The music that changed their lives. The strange turns their personal and professional lives have taken. The moments that cracked them open or stitched them back together.
Listen like the answers matter. Because they do.
If you do that consistently, you might discover something unexpected. Not only will you become more attractive to the people you meet, you’ll also start living in a world that feels a lot more alive.
Turns out the planet is full of interesting people.
You just have to be interested enough to notice them.
Keep calm and embrace your curiosity!
Clint 🌈✌️
P.S. Let’s teleport back to 1985 and enjoy this curious little dance ditty:
COLLIDE PRESS is a reader-supported publication.
Please consider becoming a Paid Subscriber or Patron.
SPRING HAS SPRUNG SALE
25% Off Annual Subscriptions
Thru 04-12-26
FROM THE ARCHIVES
FYC = FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
Top 50 People Who Created Apple, Ranked (Macworld)
Nikon Agrees To Acquire Viltrox After Lawsuit (The Phoblographer)
BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY
04-01 = Ireen Wüst (1986- ) = Dutch former long track speed skater 🌈
04-01 = Rachel Maddow (1973- ) = American journalist and author 🌈
MAN CRUSH OF THE DAY
“The fact is that people are good. Give people affection and security, and they will give affection and be secure in their feelings and their behavior.”
Abraham Maslow
Spot on Clint, Cheers DougT 🏴🇬🇧
Agreed! As the saying goes, "The greatest gift you can give someone is your time (presence)." I'm glad you're finding your way to meaningful connection in our modern world.