Don't Poke The Bear

Or It Might Bite Your Head Off

Photo by mana5280 on Unsplash

There’s an old saying: “Don’t poke the bear.”

Most people hear that and think it’s about anger. Temper. Aggression.

But I think it’s really about boundaries.

Bears don’t wake up every morning looking for a fight. They’re not stomping through the woods searching for someone to maul. Most of the time, they just want to be left alone. They want Peace. Space. Quiet. Safety. Snacks.

I, a bear in human form, want the same things.

I try very hard to be more chill than I was raised to be. I try to pick my battles more carefully than I used to. I warn people: I’m nice…until I’m not. I try to remember that human beings are messy and flawed and complicated.

But there are certain lines that cannot be crossed. Non-negotiables.

And once I have clearly communicated those boundaries, once I have looked someone dead in the eye and said, “Do not do that again,” the responsibility shifts.

At that point, nobody gets to act shocked when I see red and bite their head off.

Last night, I lost my shit on someone I genuinely like. Maybe even love. But love, like patience, has its limits. And needs to be a two-way street if it’s going to last.

Two months ago, I warned this person about something specific. I was calm then. Direct. Clear. There was no confusion. No mixed signals. No passive-aggressive bullshit. I explained exactly where the line was and why it mattered.

Last night, he crossed it anyway.

And something in me snapped. Not cracked. Snapped.

My reaction was not careful or cool. It was cold, crazy, and even a little cruel. Once I see red, I don’t see any other colors again for a while. Every ounce of restraint I had been holding onto disappeared the second I realized he didn’t give a fuck about what I had said and warned him about.

He didn’t listen. And looked confused when I was screaming at him.

I’m not proud about how loud I got. But I refuse to apologize.
Play stupid games. Get stupid prizes.

Here’s the thing about boundaries: they’re meaningless if they’re not enforced.

I think a lot of us were conditioned to believe that protecting our peace makes us difficult. That enforcing boundaries makes us dramatic. That anger automatically invalidates whatever hurt came before it. Fuck all that stupid shit.

Sometimes anger is the clearest sign my nervous system can send: “STOP!”
Sometimes rage is what happens when my spirit gets tired of being ignored.

That doesn’t mean every reaction is justified. I know I could have handled parts of last night better. I know there were moments where I chose emotional napalm when a simple match would have done the job.

But I think I understand why I responded the way I did.

There’s a particular kind of heartbreak that comes from someone hearing your boundary and crossing it anyway, especially when it’s someone you thought was on your side and you would like to keep close. But enforcing boundaries often means risking the relationship itself.

Some people only love the version of you that grants them unlimited access. The moment you say “enough,” you become the villain in their story. If that’s the case here, so be it. What will be will be. I have no interest in keeping people in my life who refuse to respect me or my boundaries.

I would rather be accused of being too intense than spend my life teaching people they can disrespect me without consequence.

The truth is, most bears, animal or human, don’t want to attack anybody. Most of us would rather be left alone than pushed into a corner.

But to the people who keep poking after they’ve been warned to stop, eventually you lose the right to act surprised when the bear bites and fights back.

Keep calm and protect those boundaries!
Clint 🌈✌️

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thru 05-31-26

FROM THE ARCHIVES

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BORN THIS WAY ON THIS DAY

• 05-07 = Angélica Lozano Correa (1975- ) = Colombian lawyer and politician 🌈

• 05-07 = Gary Cooper (1901-1961) = American actor 🌈

• 05-07 = Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky (1840-1893) = Russian composer 🌈

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MAN CRUSH(ES) OF THE DAY

GARY COOPER

“To get folks to like you, as a screen player I mean, I figured you had to sort of be their ideal. I don’t mean a handsome knight riding a white horse, but a fella who answered the description of a right guy.”
Gary Cooper